juxtaposition
"And I know it could be me
I’m always asking for more
I keep running round in circles
I keep looking for a doorway
I’m going to need two lives
To follow the paths I’ve been taking" -Belle and Sebastian, "Stay Loose"
Sometimes life seems really contradictory. Or at least it does in my head.
Part of me wants to be the quiet studious one, who reads a lot and thinks and is generally just philosophical. And part of the time I am that person.
Another part of me wants to just chill and dig life and take everything one day at a time, one hour at a time, hang out with friends, talk, eat, drink, and generally just be merry.
And yet another part wants to be great, to do something brilliant, to make a difference in the world, to change the system, to make it better, to make this world better, to make is just and fair and real and wonderful.
The three just seem to push and pull in different directions. I wouldn't be happy if one went away, and on different days, each describes me. But it's kind of weird. And a little annoying. Because of course when there are tests, all I want to do is dig life and when I have nothing to do I feel the urge to be responsible and study.
Oh, life.
In other news we had a Fair Trade meeting last night. I'm having mixed feelings about Fair Trade, more about what I want us to do, and what we can do legally on campus. Or what I want us to be and what we are. It's not an issue, just more like I have a vision that I can't seem to get to work.
I think one of my major downfalls is not being able to communicate all the things I am thinking and feeling. They almost can't be translated into words. Or, at least I can't translate them into words.
posted by kellyisdelightful @ 10:49 AM
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