boo hiss
OK. Two Tests down in Week From Hell Part I, one to go. Then begins Weel From Hell Part II where I have 3 papers due. Plus just random reading for other classes. Oh midterms, how you suck. Shakespeare is tomorrow. I am very angry about this class because we spent two weeks on Henry IV Part I, a week and a half on Henry V, and less than a week on Macbeth. Priorities are completely out of whack here. And let me just say that the entire point of Macbeth is not to have a main character with an inner life in a society where people gain their sense of self from their position in the social heirarchy. Yes its there. But it is not the sole purpose of the play and does not deserve the majority of our discussion time. Hello. 2.5 hours on this play and the only point our teacher made was this. The rest of the analysis was what the class came up with and all he said was "oh that's very interesting." He dismissed our idea of the witches as the Greek Fates with a wave of the hand, saying that they don't control Macbeth, they only give him courage. Professor Gil, I would like to smack you repeatedly with a wiffle bat. RAR. Anyway, off to study Shakespeare for a bit, then shower, go to dinner and dancing lessons at Billy Bob's with Alex, then go to Senseless Acts of Comedy at 9, and a study session with Becca for Shakespeare class. After my test tomorrow I will come home and get my brother to help me set up my iPod, have dinner/hang out with Pam, stay the night in the Bubble, and then go to a job fair on Saturday. Back to TCU for massive studying Saturday afternoon ish. Yuck papers. definitely boooooooo hissssssssssssssPS I love Bob Marley music. Also, Jillian is my hero. I just wanted everyone to know that.
I love this song
The {Downing Street} memo says......We gotta work to make the facts fit the false chargesPull the wool over the eyes of the filthy massesStab the people in the back for the corporate choiceRoll the propaganda out using The People's VoiceWe don't want to talk about it...The press scribble scribble every half-truth spokeThen shoot it round the country like an April Fools jokeHype the nation for a Desert Storm love affairWave the stars and stripes like you just don't care!They talk it up all day, they talk it up all nightThey talk until their face turns blue - Red white and blue!But when the truth escapes the night and crawls into the dayWe find the picture still askewThey don't want to... talk talk talk talk talk about itThey wanna tiptoe, walk around itWave the flag and mindlessly saluteThey don't want to talk about itThey wanna tiptoe, walk around it
Wave the flag and cowardly saluteAnd on the TV screen......Diversion and aversion is the flavor of the dayWas it WMDs? Or Democracy?Blame it on MI-6 or the CIAThe White House Press Corpse only has one thing to say..."We don't want to talk about it!"The White House boils over, "Al Jazeera got it wrong!"The Press Corpse jumps onboard singing the White House songWhile over in Iraq thousands are dead because of liesThe spineless war drumming-press corpse have taken livesThey talk it up all day, they talk it up all nightThey talk until their face turns blue - Red white and blue!But when the truth escapes the night and crawls into the dayWe find the picture still askewThey don't want to... talk talk talk talk talk about itThey wanna tiptoe, walk around itWave the flag and mindlessly saluteThey don't want to talk about itThey wanna tiptoe, walk around itWave the flag and cowardly saluteFires fueled on endless liesBlack shrouds coat desert skiesA nation's viewpoint blurred and ledAs embeds report what they're fedWe don't want to talk about it...We don't want to talk about it...We don't want to talk about it...We don't want to talk about it...(We don't want to talk about it...) We don't, don't want to, we don't wanna talk about it(We don't want to...) We don't, don't want to, we don't wanna talkThey don't want to... talk talk talk talk talk about itThey wanna tiptoe, walk around itWave the flag and cowardly saluteThey don't want to talk about itThey wanna tiptoe, walk around itWave the flag and cowardly salute-"The Press Corpse", Anti-FlagMy new Anti-Flag CD finally came. I am SO excited. Because I love Anti-Flag. I got an iPod because my ZenMicro doesn't have enought memory for all my musics. I need to ebay it eventually. Maybe after finals. YAY. We went to La Boheme last night. It was amazing. Truly. Granted I couldn't understand what they were saying, but there were subtitles and the music was lovely. So it was all good. We had a banana pancake party this morning. Yummy. Three tests this week: Western Civ on Wednesday, Latin American Civ on Thursday, Shakespeare on Friday. This is going to suck hardcore. Going to study literally all day. After I make and drink some coffee. I heart my coffee maker. Yay Fair Trade.
watch for the alliterative genius at the end
When I was in St. Louis over break we went to the St. Louis Art Musuem and they had this exihibit of medieval armour and weaponry. I was struck by how beautiful the engravings were on the sword handles (sometimes the swords themselves) and the guns. The shields, the armous, helmets, maces, swords, guns, everything was covered with intricate engravings and some (armour) was painted. These works of art were once used to kill people, to behead them, bash in their faces, crush their bones, rip off skin, and spill blood, to cause pain and death and horror. Yet they were beautiful. Tonight I was reading Henry V and trying to memorize one of the speeches for my Shakespeare class. The one we have to memorize is a very noble speech in act IV where Henry V is trying to motivate the English troops before they go to battle with the French (they're outnumbered like 10:1) and its a nice speech. It's so...romanticized and noble, getting the men to fight for honor and glory, for the chance to be remembered for their heroic efforts. When you're reading it's so easy to forget that he's saying this to convince his men to go kill other people and risk their lives, incite waves of terror in French villages, rape, pillage and plunder the French people. He's giving this almost chivalric speech and it's such a beautifully written speech, one of Shakespeare's best, yet it exists for the purpose of creating anger, terror, fear, death. It's so easy to forget that the only reason the people in the play are at war is because Henry has a shady and illegitimate claim to the French throne and wants it just because he is the King and thinks he deserves it. Vietnam and Iraq have been compared to the situation in this play. It's an unjustified war (technically, all war is unjustified, but you know what I mean). The armies in the play measure the successes and losses of the battle in terms of how many nobles are killed (our losses have been great, we lost 2 dukes and an earl!) and are completely oblivious to the thousands, literally thousands of corpses sprawled out on the battlefield. I mean...its nonsensical. How can things so beautiful and artistic and good can be used for such horrible mean? A Shakespearean speech, with perfect meter, flowery, romantic, SO beautiful, used to incite the motive the kill. An gorgeous engraving of art on a weapon. I don't get it. It's paradoxical in the most sickening way. Art is so beautiful and naturaland somehow just seems right. Art does not go with war. Murder and war are unnatural and wrong. Yet when you read about war in Shakespeare, it becomes beautiful. But it's not. That's not war. War is not beautiful. War is cruel. War is horrible. War is degrading and destructive, desecrating the countryside and demolishing all that is pure and innocent and good. Yet this destruction was at one time carried out with works of art. Beauty was part of something that caused pain. I don't get it.
suckage, if you know what I mean
Things that suck:1. Midterms2. Excessive reading for midterms3. Fading hair color4. gusts of wind5. Running out of hair gel when I am broke6. Being broke7. High gas prices8. No time for fun reading (Pride and Prejudice is on hold until after April 4)9. Not getting along with my mother at all10. Gaining weight11. Things sticking to my yellow country teeth. Things that do not suck:1. The weather, though it is a bit chilly2. Facebook photo albums that I can look at instead of doing my homework3. Seeing Sarah Frye sometime this week (and possibly Jillian too! The three of us together...oh goodness)4. My awesome polyester shirt from St. Louis that I am wearing right now5. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (the band and the self titled CD)6. Knowing that I will be in London in a year7. La Boheme on Saturday8. Yoga class tonight.9. Playing with the colors on my blog. 10. Getting to read White Noise, Fight Club, and Macbeth for class. 11. Getting my article published in the TCU newspaper (The Daily Skiff!) about Fair Trade. Go me!Things that do not currently suck, but will probably begin to in the very near future:1. Attention Defecit Disorder2. Mental stability3. Midterm stress4. Having no time for fun5. Finding a job this summer (applied at Starbucks...waiting to hear..probably will not. must abandon hope and apply elsewhere)6. Being single. 7. College student for a day. I am afraid I will be a very boring host tomorrow and that the kids will not like it. Or that they'll be crazy. Or that they'll hate it and drop out of school because they hate me and TCU so much.8. Lack of motivation to study. 9. Stupid conservative people.**EDIT**Come, you spiritsThat tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, And fill my from the crown to the toe topfulOf direst cruelty.-Lady MacbethI like this quote. And Lady Macbeth too...there is no comparison. She is Lady Macbeth. She is not defined by others, others are defined by her. She amazes me and I love her. But she's crazy man. No doubt about it.Note: I do not want to be unsexed. I am simply amazed by Shakespeare's abillty to define a person's entire character using 2 lines, half of a sentence. Not even the whole thing. Not a page. Half a sentence of dialogue to reveal who this character really is. I bow to his genius.
Give me your hand The dog in the garden row is covered in mudAnd dragging your mother’s clothes Cinder and smoke The snake in the basement Found the juniper shade The farmhouse is burning down Give me your hand And take what you will tonight, I'll give it as fast And high as the flame will rise Cinder and smoke Some whispers around the trees The juniper bends As if you were listening Give me your hand Your mother is drunk as all the firemen shake A photo from father’s arms Cinder and smoke You’ll ask me to pray for rain With ash in your mouth You’ll ask it to burn again-"Cinder and Smoke" by Iron and Wine
"I said God damn! God damn, God damn." -Mia Wallace
There's nowhere left to hideIn no one to confideThe truth burns deep insideAnd will never die…Our wrongs remain unrectifiedAnd our souls won't be exhumed-Muse, "Sing for Absolution"Today was a deep thinking day. I thought about my life and what I'm doing with it, who I am, my issues with commitment and opening up, meaning, existence, etc. etc. I have come to the conclusion that I need therapy. No joke. I think I'm crazy. Not like Charles Manson crazy but like Garden State crazy. In case you were wondering. St. Louis was amazing. Ate t-ravs (toasted raviolis for those of you who aren't down with the St. Louis lingo), visited the Art Musuem and the zoo, wandered around Forest Park, went up in the Arch, shopping in the Loop, eating yummy foods everywhere, and such. Even though I don't live in Missouri or St. Louis, I fully plan to celebrate Ted Drewes' Day (February 16) every year. Because that man is amazing. Wednesday was Sonic Night, predecessed by Midnight Jailbreak. It was nice as usual. Hung out with Matt at Kate's afterwards. Lack of sleep, good stories, and fun times ensued. I am reading Macbeth for Shakespeare class. It has been 3 years since I last read it. Mrs. Prado's rendition of Lady Macbeth is permanentaly engrained in my brain. This makes me happy. I'm also reading A Rebel in Cuba, a memoirish book by an American who fought in Castro's army during the Cuban Revolution in the late 1950s. It is really interesting. Especially considering is wasn't a Communist revolution. Castro went Commie after he came to power. And during the fighting he wasn't even supposed to be dictator. That was not the plan. Well, that wasn't the plan the revolutionaries were informed of at any rate. Blogger ate a really good post of mine on Wednesday. It made me angry. I like Belle and Sebastian. They are a good band. If you lke Garden State style music, listen to them. I am beginning to question my ability to write the novel I want to write. To convey the different ideas and stuff in the way they need to be conveyed. And not in a ridiculous, supermarket fashion. Southlake annoys me. I don't like it here. I like my friends, but I can't imagine being back here for three months this summer. Hopefully I will be working at Starbucks (got the application, need to finish filling it out and turn it in tomorrow), but still. The people, the atmosphere...its suffocating at times. I feel trapped when I'm here. I have a lot of reading to do but Facebook and the television keep distracting me. Also, we rented Phantom. It keeps talking to me, telling me to watch it. Kyle and his friends watched it last night. They talk through the entire thing. Blasphemous. La Boheme in a week and one day. House/dog sitting in threeweeks. Phantom the musical in 4.5. Exciting. School gets out for the summer in less than two months. Strange.
passing out feels cool but not really
Today I gave blood. It was cool. Except for the passing out part afterwards and part where the needle hurts like a mother. But we're good now. Got the shit scared out of me after my Western Civ prof handed back my paper and said "we need to talk before I assign a grade. Don't be nervous, we just need to talk."And I was like hm too late. But it ended up being ok. I got 23/25 (equivalent of a 92) which she wrote as a B+ but someone else got the same grade and it was an A-. So I've decided it's really an A. Psha. St. Louis in 3 days! Exciting. I'm super excited for Spring Break. Even though I have nothing I really need to do right now, I could use the break. I think I shall go watch a movie and maybe go to Fair Trade if I feel better.To steal from Jill who is going to Europe tomorrow, lucky bitch:1. Choose a band / artist and answer ONLY in the titles of their songs: Simon and Garfunkel2. Are you male or female: "Hey Schoolgirl/Black Slacks"3. Desribe Yourself: "I am a Rock"4. How do some people feel about you: "A Most Peculiar Man"5. How do you feel about yourself: "Flowers Never Bend with the Rainfall"6. Describe your ex boyfriend / girlfriend: "Bleeker Street"7. Describe current boyfriend / girlfriend: "Song for the Asking"8. Desribe where you want to be: "At the Zoo"9. Describe what you want to be: "Mrs. Robinson"10. Desribe how you live: "We've Got a Groovy Thing Going"11. Describe how you love: "Keep the Customer Satisfied"12. What would you ask for if you had just one wish: "The Only Living Boy in New York"13. Share a few words of wisdom: "Go Tell it on a Mountain"14. Now say goodbye: "So Long Frank Lloyd Wright"
to the only great show I've ever seen
So I was just diddling around the internet instead of doing my homework when I stumbled upon: American Dreams. A wonderful TV show I used to watch in high school about the 60s: Vietnam, women's rights, the civil rights movement, the hippies, and all that 60s stuff. It was an amazing show. It got canceled. This made me sad at the time. Looking back, I am very sad because that truly was a great show. It was better than the OC, Grey's Anatomy, Lost, West Wing, Gilmore Girls, and even Real World. It was so good. And it got canceled because no one watched it. Ridiculous. So now I am left to pick up the pieces by buying Season 1 when I have managed to save up the $90 to buy it. Which won't be anytime soon. (fyi it's so expensive because it has all the music that they played on every episode. which was classicly great 60's music). When Seasons 2 and 3 come out on DVD (and they better god dammit because they have M*A*S*H on DVD. And the Andy Griffith Show. And Reno 911!) I shall have to buy them as well. Because this, in my opinion, was the only good show I've ever really seen. Don't get me wrong, I love Grey's Anatomy and The OC and Gilmore Girls is pretty amusing sometimes. But none of these shows have anything other than drama/funny lines. They don't deal (with the exception of the OC season 1, the only season of the OC worth buying) with any real issues or anything truly meaningul. American Dreams did. So American Dreams, here's to you. I loved you a lot. You were the best show I've ever seen. I'm sorry the TV industry killed you. You were the only one worth keeping. Those money grabbing freaks deserve low ratings. I shall always remember your rendition of Henry V as a 60 anti-Vietnam protest that paralleled the Iraq War. I shall miss your social criticisms, feminist issues, critique of America's patriarchal society, and historical accruracy. You were amazing. Rest in peace.PS: to the OC: you have lost your glamor. You have lost your brilliantness. I hope you may recover, but I accept that this may never happen. remeber your glory days of Season 1. to Grey's Anatomy: I like to watch you. You are fluff and have no meaning, but that's ok, I understand and accept this. Your attraction is purely superficial. Sometimes you have wise insights into life. But I watch you purely for drama, great lines, and amazingness. You excel at that. Please don't change and don't get ridiculous. Be honorable like Seinfield and step down when you are on top. Don't fall. Don't be the next OC. Thanks.
"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."
-Albert CamusSo sometime in January I did this. It's pretty fabulous. You should all try it. We should all stop overthinking everything and just live. I mean, try not to be frivolous and stuff, but find a nitch and a passion and something you like and just live. Sleep in late and read books you enjoy and do random things that make you smile and enjoy the weather and relax. Life's too short to freak out about stuff. Don't stress about tests. It's not worth it. Especially right before you take them. It's too late by then. Just chill out. Of course we must live with the knowledge that unless we find something we love and enjoy and do something meaningful to us, then we won't really be happy. Don't search for happiness, search for something that you enjoy, find a cause you believe in, that you think is worthwhile, and do it. And just let the happiness it brings seep through the rest of your life. It can be anything: literature, music, history, religion, your dog, a couch, writing, fair trade, social/charity work, etc. etc. happy. and free. and relaxed. College is way rad.