caffeine highs, coffee shops, shades of grey: October 2005

Friday, October 28, 2005

la la...you know you want to

Despite the fact that she is sometimes stupid and a poseur and did use her sister’s fame to launch herself, Ashlee Simpson is not so bad. For starters, she at least tried to make music which was true to her tastes and feelings and not the mainstream stuff everyone wanted to hear (at that time anyway; it turned into the thing that everyone does). As an artist she is not the most fabulous, such as lip syncing and stuff. But she does deserve credit for the following things:

1. She is the younger of a dumb sister duo and is therefore way cool because she dyed her hair brown and then went back to blonde (see also Nicki Hilton and Ashley Olsen).
2. Her song “la la” expresses deep and meaningful feelings of lust. She says “you make me wanna la la”. What is la la? She wants to do things that have no words to describe them. “You” also make her “wanna scream.” She also wants to “be your French maid” and “want[s] more”. Only ungodly things have no words to describe them, involve French maids, are addicting, AND make someone want to scream. That’s just hot.
3. She titled her new album “I am me.” Clearly she is smart and observant. She knows who she is (her). However if this is taken in the I Heart Huckabees sense, and you ask yourself “how am I not myself?” (how am I not me?), Ashlee has the potential to be a great existentialist thinker.
4. She has pretty sweet fashion sense considering her father controls and owns her.
5. She sings fairly decently on her albums. Live I am not sure because well, who knows when she’s really live anymore.
6. When forced to improvise, she did a hoe-down jig and then lied like a rug. She is clearly made to be a great political leader because she country dances and lies, just like they all do.
7. She apparently doesn’t like Lindsay Lohan=good.
8. She doesn’t claim to save herself for marriage. This evidenced by her “la la” antics. That’s just honest.
9. She uses profanity to express herself. Way to support free speech. She gets points for that one.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

historical RANT

I love history. Let me just say this before I begin.

I HATE my Western Civ book. Why you might ask? WHY?

WELL. An understanding of religion is necessary to understand the history of a society/people/culture/whatever. Clearly, religion affects society. Duh. For Egyptian religion, which was so important and intertwined into the society that there wasn’t even a separate word for religion, there were 1-2 pages. For Mesopotamia, the cradle of civilization, where they believed their ruler was divine and built temples at the center of every town and had patron gods for every city, there was 1-2 pages. For Judaism, which WAS the culture of Israel and incredibly important for the development of the Near East, there were 2-3 pages. For Greek and Roman religions (during the Roman Republic and Empire) there was about 1 page each. For Post-Empire Rome (Byzantine Empire and Western Roman Empire), when Christianity exists, so far, there have been about 12 pages on Christianity. Now granted the role of the church in the development of the Papal States is important and how it affected the Roman way of life is important. Learning about what Saint Benedict thought about monasticism has NOTHING to do with Roman society of the time. Neither do Jerome’s thoughts on the Bible. Or St. Augustine’s books. More than 15 Bible quotes about Jesus said are irrelevant as well as there were none for the other religious leaders. I don’t care what Paul wrote unless it dramatically affects the cultural/political/economic development or is relevant in some other way. But no. It is not.

I’m not saying take out Christianity because it is important in explaining the political and cultural development of Europe. But no more so than the other religions were to their societies. Let’s be fair and equal here and not blatantly endorse a certain religion. You are supposed to be a historian. That means no bias, or as little bias as possible. RAR.

I miss our AP World book from sophomore year because that is one thing it was. Completely unbiased. It did an incredible job of addressing different religions. This book does not and it pisses me off. Let’s have some class here. As a historian Jackson L. Spielvogel does a bad job right now. This book was very well done up until this point. But I have lost all respect for him because being unbiased about Ancient Egypt is not a difficult task. Please. But remaining unbiased about your beliefs can be. It separates the good historians from the bad ones. You Mr. Spielvogel suck. BAH.

I refuse to read anymore history tonight. I am going to go be rageous, take a shower and then wathch The Virgin Suicides with Shannon. This weekend will be spent studying. Band concert Monday night and dress rehersal Sunday at 9. Ugh. Western Civ Exam on Monday.Religion Midterm Thursday. Western Civ Paper Due the following Monday. New Orleans trip next weekend. Plus scheduling fun. Midterms suck. Probably a Stat test in there somewhere. French test was yesterday. Busy busy busy. I hate Midterms weeks. BAH.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

everyone must go see The Constant Gardener

Companies. Big large, stupid, consumer supported evil corporations will be the downfall of mankind. They plot and scheme and corrupt all that is good and pure and human about us and in this world. God damn society. God damn it to hell. God damn everyone who lives in ignorance by choice and those who are not ignorant but choose to not act AND those who cause these things to happen. I know The Constant Gardener is not 100% fact. But parts are true. Things like this have happened. Huge pharmaceutical companies have sought out third world countries to test their drugs on. People have died because corporations consider their lives irrelevant and inconsequential. Expendable. Human life is not expendable. War is not justified. Killing is not justified. Taking advantage of others for personal gain is certainly not justified. What type of society creates a situation where people think they can get away with this sort of thing? Where they consider is acceptable? What kind of message must there be in such a society where people believe this to be ok? This world is so fucked up. There’s aids and cancer and poverty and war and hatred and killing and yes this is bad. Yes all of these things are bad. But they aren’t the worst thing. The worst thing is those who choose to not act, who choose to ignore it. Who can help and choose not too. Greedy capitalists. Bastards. God damn bastards.

Friday, October 21, 2005

AGAIN!

ummm bored and pam needs to stop these because then i have to do them.

[ ] I'm afraid of silence.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I'm afraid of the dark
[ ] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night.
[ ] I am homosexual.
[x] I believe in true love
[ ] I've run away from home
[x] i listen to political music
[] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when im sad (on occasion)
[x ] I open up to others easily. (with the right person and topic)
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world. (aren’t we all)
[x] I watch the news. (read it more but watch as well)
[ ] I own over 3 rap CDs.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.(hello)
[x] I love Disney movies.
[x] I am a sucker for green and blue eyes.
[] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse regularly.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation
[ ] I like Spam.
[x ] I bake well (with the right food)
[x] I have worn pajamas to class.
[x ] I have owned something from Abercrombie. (I was in middle school give me a break)
[ ] I have a job.
[ ] I love Dr. Phil
[x] I like or love someone
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS eVeN jUsT oNcE
[x] I am self-conscious. (not that much really but on occasion)
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol
[x ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis. (I don’t know how regularly I drink but eh)
[ ] I have tried a cigarette or cigar.
[ ] I have smoked a pack in one day.
[x] I loved Lord of the Flies
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can whistle.
[x] I have many scars
[x] I've been out of this country.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room
[x] I love chocolate.
[] I bite my nails.
[x] I am comfortable with being me.
[x] I play computer games when I'm bored.
[x] Gotten lost in the city.
[x] Seen a shooting star
[x] Had a serious surgery. (impacted wisdom teeth?)
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas.
[ ] Have kissed a stranger.
[ ] Hugged a stranger.
[ ] Been in a bloody fist fight with someone of the same sex.[
] Been in a fist fight.
[ ] Been arrested.
[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of your nose.
[x ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator. (just last week actually with the dorm one ha ha)
[] Made out in an elevator. (PAM-wtf? How have I not heard about this till now?)
[ ] Swore at your parents. (much self control)
[x ] Kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] Been skydiving. (I WISH)
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[x] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] Bitten someone
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x] Crashed into a car. (I wasn’t driving though)
[ ] Been to Japan.
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[ ] Shoplifted.
[ ] Been fired.
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Gone on a blind date.
[ ] had a crush on a teacher/coach.
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] Been to Europe.
[ ] Slept with a co-worker.
[ x] Been married. (ON FACEBOOK PAM YOU LIAR!!!)
[ ] Gotten divorced.
[x ] Saw someone dying.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.(not personally I don’t think but I’ve been on road trips where I drove part of it)
[ x] Been to Canada.
[x] Been On A Plane.
[ x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[ x] Eaten Sushi.
[ x] Been snowboarding.
[ x] Been skiing.
[x] Been ice skating.
[x] Cried in public.
[ ] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.

hmmm off to chill and then go see The Constant Gardener with Shannon (roomie) and some guys from down the hall (THIRD EAST MONCRIEF BITCHES!!)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

just wasting time duh

well thank you pam, you know I cannot resist a good survey. or a bad one. Or surveys in general.

Ok so, put iTunes (or in my case Creative MediaSource) on random shuffle and press play and the first 10 songs to pop up tell you things.

1. What do you think of me , Creative MediaSource (iTunes for Creative)??
“The Mirror (angel of Music)”-Phantom of the opera Soundtrack
ooookkI guess it thinks I’m an angel of music?
2. Will I have a happy life?
“The Story of Nothing”-The Aquabats well shit
3. What do my friends really think of me?
“Solitude”- Authority Zero symbolically meaning I have no real friends?
4. Do people secretly lust after me?
“Foolish”-MXPX I’m gonna take that as a no.
5. What does [insert significant other] think of me?
“Bring out the Gimp/Comanche”-Revels on the Pulp Fiction Soundtrack well that’s inspiring.
6. How can I make myself happy?
“Give it All”-Rise Against ooooh yes. A Rock Against Bush Song about dedicating your life to fighting for what you believe in and being a political protestor. How oddly true.
7. What should I do with my life?
“Don’t you forget about me”- Billy Idol perhaps saying that no matter where I go or what I do I should never forget about my friends and the past?
8. What causes me pain?
“Comforting Lie”-No Doubt
….kind of true. I think comforting lies are the worst thing ever. I believe Mary is the one designated to shoot me if I ever start with that…
9. How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
“Daddy’s Little Defect”-Sugarcult
ahahahaha and the chorus begins “going all the way looking so helpless everyday, daddy’s little defect all the way, keep your secrets away from me, if you wanna be mine”
10. Can you give me some good advice? “The Celluloid Dream”-A.F.I.
this song is about dreaming about something happy and beautiful that is unattainable and the pain that causes and then it says “all the colors upon leaving, all will turn to grey”…hmmmmm thanks I guess you stupid pessimist.

ummm this survey is weird. thanks pam, god.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

ode to 96

I have decided that the number of the week this week is 96:
-grade on my Stat test
-grade on my Film paper
-grade on my religion paper that I turned in last month and got back today.

So here's to you 96! We salute your skills and awesomeness. Also the ability to be like, the same number upside down and backwards and how the two numbers that form you (6 and 9) are the same shape but upside down. You, 96, are awesome. You make my life. And my week. I raise my three-quarters full half liter of Diet Coke to you, and take a long, refreshing sip. ahhhhhhhhh.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

freedom at last

In high school, there was constant pressure: pressure to get good grades to get into a National Honor Society and top ten percent and graduate Cum Laude and get into a good school etc etc. We were going 24/7 and there was hardly ever any time to just sit and relax and breathe. In college there are still things going on 24/7 and you’re always busy. But its not (obviously with the exception of midterm weeks) that stressful. You do things because you want to, when you want to. You’re in control of your life and you don’t have to do a whole bunch of little things in order to “boost your resume” for college or the next step or whatever. Sure you have to work and sure you don’t get a lot of sleep and sure there’s still the pressure to get good grades. But its different…maybe it was just the special situation we all dealt with in Southlake, the extra-ordinary pressure to conform and be perfect and number one and specialize and be better and blah blah blah, but now…college is so much more relaxed and chill. Rather than doing 90% of things because you have to and 10% of things because you want to you do 90% of things because you want to and 10% percent of things because you have to and you do it all on your schedule. I feel so free and light here at college. I don’t know if I’m happy, but I am content and feel like there’s this enormous pressure that has simply disappeared. *Poof*. Gone. Ahhhhhhhhhhh…I am so relaxed and chill and content right now.
My mood reminds me of this lovely quote by Mr. Jim Carey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
“I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.”

Friday, October 14, 2005

Check out these fine ladies....

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

up for London next spring my lovely wife? We can rob a bank.

SUMMER MOVIES OTHER THAN "MARCH OF THE PENGUINS" THAT CONSERVATIVES ARE RALLYING BEHIND.

(From McSweeneys, BY MATT LOKER, 9/27/05)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
The imaginative children's tale imparts the values of family togetherness, honesty, and avoiding premarital intercourse. "For example," writes James Dobson, "Violet gives in to the temptation of chewing gum, and becomes abnormally fat (representing pregnancy). The other three children similarly give in to temptation, and they all become dead (representing a social disease)."

Wedding Crashers
This bawdy comedy fits in neatly with conservative values, such as heterosexuality. "[Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson] have sex with many, many women," observes syndicated radio host Michael Savage. "Homosexual men can't do that, on account of science."

Batman Begins
Bruce Wayne is the wealthy playboy son of an influential plutocrat. Later in life, he makes amends for his father by taking a lone-wolf-vigilante-justice approach to morally dubious acts of violence. Conservatives applaud the film's use of a tricked-out Hummer as the Batmobile, which was totally sweet.

The Dukes of Hazzard
Not once is the word "evolution" used in this movie. Many pundits proclaim this to be a tacit endorsement of intelligent design. "This is by far the best evidence yet," exclaims a joyous Pat Robertson on The 700 Club.

Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith
Presents strong direct evidence for Christianity, owing mostly to Natalie Portman, who must be an angel. "Aw, shucks," says conservative talk-show host Sean Hannity, who sheepishly lowers his head and draws an arc in the dirt with his shoe.

Madagascar
No one is aborted in this movie.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

ninjas and such

I discovered the Ultimate Facebook Group today called "Ninjas against bad things." If I went to the school where this group was, I would join it because I agree that the following things are bad...therefore I must be a ninja in disguise.

Current List of Bad Things that Ninjas Against Bad Things Think are Bad and are Therefore Against:
• Paper Cuts
• Paper Cuts In Your Eye! AAUUGHH!
• Zombie Porn
• Nuclear Waste
• Midterms
• Inertia
• Migraines
• I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
• Gangrene
• Being forced to wear dirty clothes because your stupid roommates are hogging all the washers
• Spike-filled Pits
• Bottomless Pits
• Armpits
• Spike-filled Armpits
• Bottomless Armpits
• Pits in General
• When you're playing Don't Touch Lava (the Game in Which You Jump Around on Furniture and Avoid Touching the Ground Because it Somehow is Made of Lava), and someone who you THOUGHT was your friend pushes you into the lava and then LAUGHS about it, that bastard.
• Capitalizing Every Single Damn Word in a Sentence.
• Global warming
• Freak sledding accidents
• Dressing up in a lion suit, hiding behind clothesracks in department stores and then jumping out at random people and MAULING them! RAARGH!
• Nevermind. That last one was actually pretty cool. Ninjas Against Bad Things isn't against that at all.
• Burning the crap out of your last two eggo waffles. Dammit! Now what am I going to eat?
• Genghis Khan
• Watching a movie in which one of the characters does something so utterly stupid and embarrassing that you get all embarrassed too.
• Lukewarm baths
• The word "chill" used as an adjective
• Snap and Crackle. Pop is cool, though. He can stay.
• Registered trademarks™®©
• Things that are like, vague and stuff
• Sig figs
• Whiny People (except when the whiny person is you, in which case the whining is totally justified.)
• Tricksey Hobbitses
• Hangnails
• Thinking about blinking.
• That rhymes, by the way. The More You Know *--≥
• Graaa! Trying to make the "The More You Know" shooting star using text. I hate you, The More You Know Shooting Star! (hereafter referred to as TMYKSS)
• People who use internet lingo (like LOL, WTF, BRB, OBGYN...) during everyday speech.
• Anyone with the last name "Yurgowitz." (Remember it with this simple mnemonic: Yurgowitz = bad).
• Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is at least 2 1/3 (pronounced Two and One-Threeth, for those Ninjas who are not so mathematically inclined) times as excellent.
• Stale tortilla chips
• Spending nine hours writing your 5000-word Coleopterology paper due the next day, only to look up from the keyboard to find the computer isn't even on.
• Scissors that come in packages you need scissors to open
• Waking up to the realization that your awesome dream was just an awesome dream, and your life still sucks.
• Dumb people who laugh at you for anthropomorphizing your fast food. We’ll see who’s laughing after Señor Chicken Burger has his way with them.
• People who give you a shot glass full of vegetable oil when you’re drunk and tell you it's Captain Morgan.
• When you spend years earning two black belts, have your body registered as a deadly weapon, and your boyfriend isn’t at least a little afraid of you.
• Those little crusty things in your eye when you wake up.
• People who leave notes on your car saying not to park on their front lawn ever again or they'll call the police.
• Having great cybersex with a hot Brazilian model, only to find out later that the hot Brazilian model was actually your roommate.
• Anybody who says the word "basically" more than once in the same sentence.
• Getting locked out of your room when you are in the shower.
• Green eggs and ham haters.
• "Wardrobe malfunctions".
• Cheese whiz. I mean, why would we be for something that could survive an atomic bomb? Is that really what we want to be the symbol of our society to life forms in the very distant feature who are trying to learn something about us?
• On that note, cockroaches! Bad to the max!
• Annenberg TV News
• Stinky garbage disposals
• When your roommate throws your sock away then denies it when you confront her (bitch). It’s worse when your roommate eats your homework—even if he/she admits it, your stupid TA never believes you
• Practical jokes involving surprise lobotomies.
• Turning one’s frown “upside-down.” Sometimes it’s just not that simple.
• “Brainstorming.” What a dumb word.
• Mistaking wasabi for green frosting.
• Parents who believe their ugly babies are in fact cute babies. Boy are they wrong.
• Trying to remember how to write in cursive.
• Moose kabobs. They don’t exactly exist, but if they did, it would be a Bad Thing.
•People who don’t appreciate the musical genius behind the “meow mix” song
• That Geico lizard. He would be so dead if he weren’t computer-animated and all.
• Throwing dead fish instead of confetti at a New Year’s Party.
• People who trick you into thinking you are eating a sandwich when in fact you are eating a medium-sized building filled with kindergarteners.

Now that I have informed you all of my ninja requirement filling, I am off to enjoy some delicious CPK pizze. mmmmmm.

Monday, October 10, 2005

no good deed goes unpunished…

The eternal struggle of the individual versus society. Those of us who refuse to conform…where does it get us? We know who we are, or at least we think we do. But what then? Does that help us find happiness? Is it better to conform and think we’re happy rather than suffering and attempting to find what we think to be true happiness? Life is hard for everyone, conformists and non. But sometimes I wonder if I should give up this fight. If I should just let society win. Can I even do that? I mean, in the long run, society will go on. But I won’t. Maybe it would just be better for everyone if I just stopped fighting. Can I even cross that line back again? Do I even want to? I don’t think I do now…maybe I will someday. Maybe when society beats me down far enough. Not now though I don’t think. Fuck you society. I may go down, eventually, but I’m not going down without a fight. I shall be the gallant, tragic hero, the individual fighting against the big bad society. Inner heroism…that’s the trick.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

wicked part deux

and goodness knows
the wicked's lives are lonely
goodness knows
the wicked die alone
it just shows that when you're wicked
you're left only
on your own...

...but what is wickedness? what does it mean to be wicked? thoughts my lovelies?

Friday, October 07, 2005

sweet bliss

Is there anything better than driving around with the windows down, some old punk rock blasting, when it's sunny with white clouds and 65 degrees out?

no.

No there is not.

aaaaaahhhhhh....

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Why me?

So we have a HUGE religion test tomorrow. And we had a study session tonight with...I guess about half of the class. Keep in mind that this is an HONORS class. And our study session pretty much consisted of me explaining the material to everyone. I hate study sessions where I'm the smart one who explains everything. You would think that with an Honors class it would be everyone pretty much equal and we all discuss. No no. No no. Then Mal called me in the middle and I went to talk to her for about 5 minutes and they tryed to go on and ended up yelling for me to come back and help them because they couldn't go on with out me. They ended up talking about massages while I was gone. It just really annoyed me. I hate being the smart one at the review sessions who has to explain everything to everyone. Just once I would like to be the dumb one. I would like to have to have things explained to me by a smarter person because I don't understand. Or better yet I would like to have a study session with a group of equals who have all prepared the material and generally understand and we just discuss it and such. Is that too much to ask? A little intellectual stimulation people. In class that happens but its because of the teachers. I think that's why I always bonded so well with my teachers, because they were the only people who ever challanged me. Don't get me wrong; Religion is a hard class and this test will be hard and covers a lot of material...but why can't I be in a class of people at my same level for once in my life? Or at least have some of the people in my class at the same level...that's all I want. Why do I always have to be the smart one in these situations? Why? I hate being the smart one all the time. I don't mean to be conceited...its just that I find myself in this situation a little too often. Bleh.

Monday, October 03, 2005

I must be...

Change everything you are
And everything you were
Your number has been called

Fights and battles have begun
Revenge will surely come
Your hard times are ahead

Best, you've got to be the best
You've got to change the world
And use this chance to be heard
Your time is now

Change everything you are
And everything you were
Your number has been called

Fights and battles have begun
Revenge will surely come
Your hard times are ahead

Best, you've got to be the best
You've got to change the world
And use this chance to be heard
Your time is now

Don't let yourself down
And don't let yourself go
Your last chance has arrived

Best, you've got to be the best
You've got to change the world
And use this chance to be heard
Your time is now
-Muse, "Butterflies & Hurricanes"

It is said that a butterfly in California can beat its wings and start a tornado in Japan...the chaos theory. The same thing goes for our actions as individuals in society. Imagine what a difference we could make if we really tried. What has already been accommplished is a start but there is so much more that must be done.

In order to make the world a better place we must first make ourselves better people. We must be the change we want to see. If we want to end intolerance not only must we be tolerant but we must defend tolerance when we see intolerance. We must be the individual. The idealist who acts. When someone says something intolerant or prejudiced, even if it is meant to be in a joking way, it still has a certain societal and psychological implications. There is still something there even if we don't want there to be. We must completely get rid of these ideas. We must not tolerate intolerance. We must change the world...I must change the world. I must be stronger than this.

People use certain names and words as jokes (i.e. my roommate calling me a Mormon earlier because I don't really drink and stuff and am the "innocent prude" one in the room" and me trying to tell them off and them not getting why it was a big deal to me). Sometimes I try to articulate my thoughts in a conversation and it just doesn't work...I can't do it as well as I can in an essay. I need that extra time to think sometimes especially with really deep stuff. Which kind of sucks. I need to work on that. That and not accepting intolerance. Period. I must be better than this...otherwise who am I? Who am I if I don't act out my beliefs? What does that make me? A true Southlakien, something I am not. Something I will never be. I must never become

Sunday, October 02, 2005

unfocused

So. I have a French Test, a World Religions Test, a Film Essay, Stat problems, and a Western Civilizations paper to write. I need to study, but oh no. America's Next Top Model was on. And then the chips and queso called. And we're leaving to run errands here in a little bit (important but postponable) and I just cannot concentrate for the life of me. I suppose religion can wait awhile because I already studied for that earlier for like 3 hours or so. And did a load of laundry. Which reminds me that after we get back from errands and dinner and such I shall have to do another load or two. Which will of course distract me from French. I can never motivate myself to do French. Blurg. And my WC essay...well not to be a total procrastinator, but that can wait a little while, until Thursday anyway because it is not due until Monday. And my film essay is essentially done but needs to be proofed again. Stat...I just don't want to do. I just don't.

RAR. Why can I not concentrate and be studious and such? WHY? I have no motivation right now. The whole 4.0 GPA and Scholarship requirements and Honors Program are looming in the background...but I just don't care right now. The thing is I can get by without immediately doing this stuff and I'm like eh. Later. There's always time. Which is a really bad attitude to have. But...oh well. I can't focus on school when I have Wicked and Homecoming and Pulop Fiction to occupy my attention. Obviously there are more important things than studying for tests. As my roommate says "you can always retake a test. you can never relive a party." not entirely true but tempting just the same. RAR! It's like senioritis all over again. Stupid French and Stat. They're the ones I need to do and they're the ones that can't be postponed really and they're the ones that I am just not doing because, well, frankly, I don't want to. I don't want to study. I want to read some more of On the Road, then go run errands and maybe stop by Best Buy and see if they have a CD I wanted to get (not sure which CD...but there are many I want so I figured I'd check it out) and then eat dinner and do laundry and maybe print out my film essay and look over stat and wacth gray's anatomy and IM random people and other such things. I was studious from 11:30 until about...3:30. With a lundry break and surprise Kate visit thrown in. But still. That's enough for one day. Damn. I love with I can rationalize laziness and procrastination. I can't even focus long enough to write a decent blog entry. Just random things.

Yesterday was parents weekend. It was...interesting.

Tonight is Gray's Anatomy. Uber exciting.

Quote of the day: "have you ever pleasureda one hundred and twenty year old man?"

caffeine highs, coffee shops, shades of grey