Relationships...I know not what to do and time is running out
I'm swimming in a sea of memories and overanalytic thoughts right now. Four relationships of the friend area...tonight I find myself questioning them. One on the verge of something, but what? One revived after a presumed infinite hiatus by a memory that will forever connect our minds. One about to change because of distance but that I know will survive. One that is new and different and good but very young and mature. All four consume me right now. I can't focus on anything else and my mind keep wandering to the what-if's and the could-be's and the how will this end's.What if I had never gone to England?
What if we hadn't stopped being friends for no reason in January and put so much distance between us that we haven't spoken to each other since?
What if my hair was still pink?
What if I never find another person who knows me this way?
How is it that after 6 months apart, we're still the same people who know everything about the other?
What if the brakes had been hit a tenth of a second later?
Could we ever be friends again after this?
What if Boston was nothing more than a dream?
What will the future bring?
Will we stay in touch?
Are we really so alike that after all this time apart, we still think exactly the same way?
Am I reading too much into things?
OK. There are 4 yes. But one is preocupying me more than the others now. It's been 6 months. And yet...neither one of us has changed. I mean, we have changed and grown up and matured and made new friends and stuff, but we are still exactly the same. People used to say we were like one person in two bodies, we thought the same things, said the same things, believed the same things. Best friends. Sisters almost. And now...we still know each other that well. An unspoken knowledge. Of what we've done, what we've become. Who we are. We still know. I realize this now because of a single movie that will forever connect us. The fact that our minds are so alike...it seems like no matter how much time passes or what is said or what we do or where go, we will always know each other like this. On this level. Because we are the same.
What to do next is the issue...
"Not a whit. We defy augury. There's a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come- the readiness is all. Since no man of aught he leaves knows,. what is 't to leave betimes? Let be." [Hamlet. V.ii. 207-211.]
a quote that applies so much more to life than death...
posted by kellyisdelightful @ 11:03 PM
3 Comments:
hmmm....well I have some ideas on who these people are that are troubling you...i hope i am not part of the problem. I miss you, and have no fear, we will keep in touch. I love you darling.
Mal~
sorry i missed the last post, btw.
Muah.
Mal~
ah Ms. Kelly it seems your ever analytical mind is hard at work.
what I'm finding out is now is the time to find out who are friends really are. my suggestion: take a break. don't worry about it, take a few days where you try hard to clear your head and see what happens. perhaps you don't have time to do this, but perhaps my backwards way of looking at everything will be helpful. give me a call. or perhaps I will give you a call.
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