ninjas and such
I discovered the Ultimate Facebook Group today called "Ninjas against bad things." If I went to the school where this group was, I would join it because I agree that the following things are bad...therefore I must be a ninja in disguise.Current List of Bad Things that Ninjas Against Bad Things Think are Bad and are Therefore Against:
• Paper Cuts
• Paper Cuts In Your Eye! AAUUGHH!
• Zombie Porn
• Nuclear Waste
• Midterms
• Inertia
• Migraines
• I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
• Gangrene
• Being forced to wear dirty clothes because your stupid roommates are hogging all the washers
• Spike-filled Pits
• Bottomless Pits
• Armpits
• Spike-filled Armpits
• Bottomless Armpits
• Pits in General
• When you're playing Don't Touch Lava (the Game in Which You Jump Around on Furniture and Avoid Touching the Ground Because it Somehow is Made of Lava), and someone who you THOUGHT was your friend pushes you into the lava and then LAUGHS about it, that bastard.
• Capitalizing Every Single Damn Word in a Sentence.
• Global warming
• Freak sledding accidents
• Dressing up in a lion suit, hiding behind clothesracks in department stores and then jumping out at random people and MAULING them! RAARGH!
• Nevermind. That last one was actually pretty cool. Ninjas Against Bad Things isn't against that at all.
• Burning the crap out of your last two eggo waffles. Dammit! Now what am I going to eat?
• Genghis Khan
• Watching a movie in which one of the characters does something so utterly stupid and embarrassing that you get all embarrassed too.
• Lukewarm baths
• The word "chill" used as an adjective
• Snap and Crackle. Pop is cool, though. He can stay.
• Registered trademarks™®©
• Things that are like, vague and stuff
• Sig figs
• Whiny People (except when the whiny person is you, in which case the whining is totally justified.)
• Tricksey Hobbitses
• Hangnails
• Thinking about blinking.
• That rhymes, by the way. The More You Know *--≥
• Graaa! Trying to make the "The More You Know" shooting star using text. I hate you, The More You Know Shooting Star! (hereafter referred to as TMYKSS)
• People who use internet lingo (like LOL, WTF, BRB, OBGYN...) during everyday speech.
• Anyone with the last name "Yurgowitz." (Remember it with this simple mnemonic: Yurgowitz = bad).
• Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is at least 2 1/3 (pronounced Two and One-Threeth, for those Ninjas who are not so mathematically inclined) times as excellent.
• Stale tortilla chips
• Spending nine hours writing your 5000-word Coleopterology paper due the next day, only to look up from the keyboard to find the computer isn't even on.
• Scissors that come in packages you need scissors to open
• Waking up to the realization that your awesome dream was just an awesome dream, and your life still sucks.
• Dumb people who laugh at you for anthropomorphizing your fast food. We’ll see who’s laughing after Señor Chicken Burger has his way with them.
• People who give you a shot glass full of vegetable oil when you’re drunk and tell you it's Captain Morgan.
• When you spend years earning two black belts, have your body registered as a deadly weapon, and your boyfriend isn’t at least a little afraid of you.
• Those little crusty things in your eye when you wake up.
• People who leave notes on your car saying not to park on their front lawn ever again or they'll call the police.
• Having great cybersex with a hot Brazilian model, only to find out later that the hot Brazilian model was actually your roommate.
• Anybody who says the word "basically" more than once in the same sentence.
• Getting locked out of your room when you are in the shower.
• Green eggs and ham haters.
• "Wardrobe malfunctions".
• Cheese whiz. I mean, why would we be for something that could survive an atomic bomb? Is that really what we want to be the symbol of our society to life forms in the very distant feature who are trying to learn something about us?
• On that note, cockroaches! Bad to the max!
• Annenberg TV News
• Stinky garbage disposals
• When your roommate throws your sock away then denies it when you confront her (bitch). It’s worse when your roommate eats your homework—even if he/she admits it, your stupid TA never believes you
• Practical jokes involving surprise lobotomies.
• Turning one’s frown “upside-down.” Sometimes it’s just not that simple.
• “Brainstorming.” What a dumb word.
• Mistaking wasabi for green frosting.
• Parents who believe their ugly babies are in fact cute babies. Boy are they wrong.
• Trying to remember how to write in cursive.
• Moose kabobs. They don’t exactly exist, but if they did, it would be a Bad Thing.
•People who don’t appreciate the musical genius behind the “meow mix” song
• That Geico lizard. He would be so dead if he weren’t computer-animated and all.
• Throwing dead fish instead of confetti at a New Year’s Party.
• People who trick you into thinking you are eating a sandwich when in fact you are eating a medium-sized building filled with kindergarteners.
Now that I have informed you all of my ninja requirement filling, I am off to enjoy some delicious CPK pizze. mmmmmm.
posted by kellyisdelightful @ 5:03 PM
4 Comments:
Most excellent. Although I love writing in cursive.
I wanna be a ninja. We should learn how. You in?
HELL YES
By the way, my study abroad probably would be spring semester because of marching band. We would definitely have to coordinate hanging out with Helen and Fran. : )
its zombie porn and its obviously like normal porn except with zombies. by that logic, to answer you original question, sex between zombies.
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